In Distress over Lingering Resentment About My Deceased Parents

I’m a homemaker in my 60s. I grew up with a father who lived at his own pace and remained indifferent to his family, and a mother who at times would subject us to her fiery temper. My mother had no interest in me even when I was a child, which made me feel lonely. I think most parents try not to make their children suffer and unwaveringly wish for their health and happiness. I hear so-called toxic parents are those who love only themselves and never understand their children’s feelings.